Tattoo Roast

“# Snake coiled around a flaming hot rod wheel on the forearm — I see it, I see ALL of it, and YOU asked for…”

“# Engraved Zippo lighter on the upper back/shoulder blade — I see it, I see ALL of it, and I want my eyes to…”

“**Thunderbird-dagger-rose stack on the forearm — I see it, I see ALL of it, and I wish I didn't.** You…”

“**Traditional boxer lady on the thigh — I see her, I see ALL of her, and she's seen better days.** Sweet…”

“Neo-trad lady astronaut on Ted's ass, banner reading "SPACE CADET" — I see it, I see ALL of it, and Ted's…”

“**Santa Muerte with praying skeleton hands and a rosary on the upper arm — black and grey realism attempt.…”

“Oh, "Fuck you Donald" — baby, you just kicked open the gates of Hell and handed me the welcome mat. Alright,…”

“**ACT 1 — THE MEAT GRINDER** Oh, a pirate ship IN a teacup with "not everyone's cup of tea" — how…”

“**ACT 1 — THE MEAT GRINDER** Alright, so you tattooed a retired hippie Waldo who apparently said "fuck the…”

“**ACT 1 — THE MEAT GRINDER** Alright, sugar skull girl with a TOP HAT — because nothing screams "2013…”

“**ACT 1 — THE MEAT GRINDER** Oh HELL yeah, buddy — you got the most clichéd forearm tattoo in the history of…”

“**ACT 1 — THE MEAT GRINDER** Oh look, a traditional Native American maiden head — the tattoo equivalent of a…”

“**ACT 1 — THE MEAT GRINDER** Alright you patriotic fever-dream of a tattoo, let's fucking go. Eagle on top…”

“**ACT 1 — THE MEAT GRINDER** Alright, what in the UNHOLY RIBBON HELL is happening on this thigh? Someone…”

“**ACT 1 — THE MEAT GRINDER** Alright, this is real ink on real skin, so we're doing this the old-fashioned…”

“**ACT 1 — THE MEAT GRINDER** Alright, sailor girl traditional — everybody's fucking favorite, because…”

“**ACT 1 — THE MEAT GRINDER** Alright, a P-51 Mustang slapped on a shoulder blade like someone lost a bet at…”